That’s Where I Live!!

If you read my last story, “And Spit On It”, you found out a bit about my previous job, and you should know we didn’t get to cut up very much while we were at work.  Actually, when someone laughed or smiled, you were considered not to be working.  And if you have been following my stories, you know that is was damn near impossible for me to not to joke around, smile and laugh.  Sorry, that’s just me and my philosophy is, “If it ain’t fun, and you don’t have to do it, then don’t do it.”  I love to play pranks on people; just to see someone’s reaction.  And even though it wasn’t related to my “work”, I played pranks at work.  However, I made sure the boss was away.

I think one of my greatest pranks played at work would have to be the one I played on Sally.  Sally worked in the receiving department and she was training a new guy.  This guy was about fifty years old and he lived almost forty miles from the plant.  He had a PhD and had been a professor at some college.  Sally just couldn’t understand why anyone with his education and experience would work for minimum wage.  Now, I never really talked to the guy, and never got to know him; I just remember what Sally had told me about him.  Sally had her suspicions about the guy, and she shared these suspicions with me and my coworker Denise.

Is seemed that the more Denise worked with this guy, the more apprehensive she became.  Day after day she would tell me her ideas about where he came from; why he was working there and it got to the point where she thought he had been in trouble with the law.  He became everything from a robber to a serial killer.  I thought it was quite funny, but Sally was dead serious.  I would tell Sally that her imagination was running away with her, and if, in fact he had been arrested for murder, we could surely find him by searching the internet.  She was very interested in this idea, so she said, “CJ, will you do it?  You are good at doing things like that and you could find him a lot faster than me.”  I kind of shook my head and said, “Sure; when I get time.”

A few days went by and Sally came into my office and asked, “CJ, have you found anything yet?”  I completely drew a blank and had no idea what she was talking about, and evidently it showed by my facial expression.  Sally said, “You know.  That guy, is he a criminal?”  Then I remembered.  I told Sally I just hadn’t had the time but, I would try in a few minutes and let her know something.  Sally left my office and I sat there and thought about her obsession with this guy being a criminal.  I knew I could search and search, but I wouldn’t find anything.  I knew Sally would really be disappointed if I came up empty-handed, so I decided to at least spend a minute or two looking for information on this guy.  Then, I thought, “Well…, since the main boss was out-of-town and my immediate boss was gone too, this would be a good time to have a little fun.

I signed in on the internet and went to Google and typed in “F.B.I.s most wanted criminals”.  I searched through the photographs trying to find someone who looked like the guy.  I found one guy that was quite a bit younger and had a beard, but he was the only one that even came close to looking like the guy.  So, I right clicked my mouse and copied the image, then I opened up and new page in Photofilter and I pasted the image.  I made the picture hazy and changed the sharpness and made it very small then saved it.  I signed back onto Google and typed in, “America’s most wanted”.  I pulled up the fugitive menu and clicked  “print screen”.  I returned to Photofilter and pasted the screen I had just copied. I cut the picture that was there, and pasted the one I had saved earlier.  I cut the text in the original picture and inserted my own text.  I went something like this:

Now, the prank was all in place and the only thing left to do was call Sally and ask her to come to my office.  Just as I picked up the phone to dial Sally’s extension, Denise walked into my office.  Denise was wondering if I was ready to take a short break, and I told her no. I had something more important to do.  I filled Denise in on the prank I was about to play.  After Denise read the fake article, she died laughing and begged me to let her stay while Sally was reading it.  I told Denise she could, but she could not laugh while Sally was in here.  Denise promised she would keep a straight face, so I let her stay.

In a few minutes Sally came in my office and I was very sober and very serious.  I looked Sally directly in the eyes and said, “Sally, I didn’t believe you when you said you thought that guy was a criminal.  I am really glad we laid him off.”  I could tell Sally was excited about what I was saying and eager to hear more, so I continued to build upon her curiosity and imagination.  I told her that I had indeed found something on the internet and I asked her if she wanted to see it and, of course she said, “Yes.”  By this time Denise was smiling and I gave her this, “You better not do it!” look so she straightened up and looked serious again.  Sally stood beside my chair; leaned over closer to the computer screen and started reading the fake article out loud.  When she got to the part that said, White Bridge Rd., Logan Co., Kentucky, she stood straight up and screamed, “Oh my God!!!  That’s where I live!!!” and smacked me on the arm so hard I just about fell out of my chair.  Denise almost broke her neck running out of my office because she was laughing so hard, and Sally stood there saying, “I knew it.  Oh my God!  That’s the road I live on!!”  She kept going on and on for about ten minutes and Denise was outside my office door watching and laughing.  Sally continued to read the rest of the story and when she got to the part, “we will call Sally”, she looked at me and said, “CJ, is this real?”.  I looked at her and smiled and said, “Oh my God!!  That’s where I live!!!”, then I died laughing.


2 thoughts on “That’s Where I Live!!

  1. I had tears in my eyes reading this. Remembering when I couldn’t contain myself infront of Sally. I had to look out the office window while Sally was reading so she wouldn’t see me turning red and my eyes watering holing in my laughter. These were some good ole days.

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